


Chemistry Puns

by RocoRambles



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Bad Puns, College, Dirty Talk, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Overstimulation, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Puns & Word Play, Rough Sex, Smut, Underage Drinking, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Verbal Humiliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:40:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25021042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RocoRambles/pseuds/RocoRambles
Summary: How about we go back to my place and form a covalent bond?
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 103





	Chemistry Puns

You could feel the bass thumping in your chest as you slipped through the sloppy mess of college students grinding in the living room. Usually the stickiness of sweat and spilled alcohol mixed with wandering hands groping you would be your cue to hightail it out the door, but the relief of finally being done with midterms combined with the three glasses of spiked punch spreading through your system has you winking flirtatiously at the boys and girls who try to dance with you as you make your way to the kitchen for a refill. There’s only a few people by the drinks and you take a second to enjoy the cooler air and quiet as you pour more liquid into your cup.

“Do you have 11 protons? Cause you’re sodium fine.”

You snort as you look up and see a familiar face grinning at you. “Do those pickup lines ever work for you, Kuroo?” The messy haired boy continues smiling as he shrugs his shoulders. “When you have a face and body like this, you can be speaking gibberish and still get laid.” You roll your eyes at his cocky words, but you smirk, amused by the banter, and you can’t deny that he’s right as you appreciatively scan over his figure. Long lean legs are encased in black skinny jeans and his black t-shirt only makes his tanned skin and hazel eyes stand out even more. Deciding to play along, you look at him from under fluttering lashes and slyly say, “If I was an enzyme, I’d be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.” His grin grows even wider and, for a moment, you’re reminded of the cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland, but your thoughts come to a screeching halt as someone screams that police officers are here.

Chaos ensues as college kids begin running in every direction, jumping out of windows, and pushing each other to escape as the sirens blare. Kuroo and you freeze for a second before he’s grabbing your wrist and pulling you with him. You run out the backdoor of the house, sprinting through the backyard until you’re halted by a tall metal fence. “Hurry and climb, Y/N!” Any hesitation you had vanishes as you hear the voices of police officers in the background and you are quickly clambering after Kuroo, but when you reach the top, your face pales. You’ve never been good with heights and all of a sudden the ground on the other side looks so far away. Kuroo’s already hopped down and looks up at you expectantly, waiting for you to join him. “What are you waiting for? Hurry up!” You really want to, but your body feels frozen as you cling to the top of the fence with all your strength. Taking in the fear on your face, Kuroo suddenly holds out his arms to you. “Jump, just trust me and jump!” Maybe it’s the panic of hearing footsteps drawing closer behind you or maybe it’s the way cat-like eyes look at you reassuringly, but you let go and shut your eyes as you feel yourself free falling, waiting for the impact of the harsh ground. But it never comes. Instead you find yourself encased in warm arms and when you open up your eyes, Kuroo is softly smiling down at you as he stands you on your feet and begins pulling you with him again. The two of you run for what feels like ages until you’re now in an entirely different part of town, panting for breath and laughing in nervous exhilaration.

You both plop yourselves on the nearest sidewalk curb as you try to get your breathing and heart rates back to a steady tempo. A comfortable silence fills the air and you quickly check your phone to see what time it is. You sigh when you see how late it is and figure it’s time to call it a night. Just as you’re about to say goodnight to the boy beside you, Kuroo’s voice breaks the silence.

“How about we go back to my place and form a covalent bond?”

You stare incredulously at him, but then both of you are braying in laughter at the terrible pun. When your cackles subside, he nervously runs his hand through his hair as he looks at you questioningly and you giggle as you sidle up right next to him until your mouth is right next to his ear. “Sure, we have such great chemistry, I think we should do some biology together,” you purr into his ear and he growls as he captures your lips in a hungry kiss, hands already hastily calling for an Uber on his phone.

The next few minutes are a blur of messy kisses and self-restraint as you hold yourselves back from jumping each other in the backseat of a stranger’s car, but soon enough your bodies are crashing through Kuroo’s front door and he throws you on to the empty table in the dining room. You grunt as your body roughly connects with the hard surface, but you hardly have time to register any discomfort as Kuroo’s mouth nips and bites along your jugular vein. Through breathy gasps you tease him as he continues his assault. “You couldn’t even wait until we got to your bedroom? What if your roommate sees us?” Your taunts are cut off by a loud moan as Kuroo bites down harshly on the sensitive junction of your neck and shoulder before pulling away to mockingly stare you in the eyes. “Chemists do it on the table periodically, sweetheart. Plus, Bokuto’s away for the weekend, so it’s just you and me.”

You don’t even have time to comment on the newest pun he spouted before Kuroo is making quick work of your clothes, practically clawing at you in his haste to rid you of your shirt. You hiss at the red streaks his nails leave behind, but the slight pain only fuels the fire building inside of you. Kuroo’s mouth roughly latches onto one of your hardened nipples as his hands work to slide your pants and panties down just enough to leave your most intimate parts exposed. You hiss when he teasingly bites the sensitive nub. “Aww, does the little kitten not like pain? I think you’re lying because your body is telling me differently.” He brutally thrusts two long fingers into your already sopping cunt and without even waiting for you to adjust, he begins to move at a rapid pace, curling his fingers and furrowing his brows in concentration as he searches for that spot...Bingo.

Your back arches and your arms fling out to grip the sides of the table with clenched hands as he finds the spongy bump inside of you that has your eyes rolling back. Kuroo relentlessly continues rubbing against your g-spot as his cock twitches at the sight of you sprawled out before him, holding to the table for dear life as you let out a litany of beautiful cries. “Fuck, you’re absolutely dripping, darling. Look, your juices are running down my arm.” You sob as he rips his fingers out of you and brings his glistening forearm to your face and you flush a deep red at the sight of your juices coating his fingers and trailing down his hand and wrist. He forcefully sticks the drenched digits into your mouth. “Be a good kitten and lick me clean.” Kuroo watches you go to work with lust clouded eyes and he begins to unbutton his jeans and lower his boxers with his free hand, pushing the fabric obstacles down until his cock is released. You’re being so obedient, so good for him and he begins to slowly rub his throbbing length as he watches you suck his fingers like they’re the most delicious thing you’ve ever had in your mouth. His jaw clenches as you moan around his fingers and when those are clean, you lewdly lick every inch of his hand and wrist that’s coated with your fluids without any prompting.

He cruelly chuckles at your whine when he removes his arm from your mouth. “Yeah, yeah. I know. A cumslut like you needs something in her mouth. Don’t worry, we’ll get to that later, but right now I need to be inside you.” He mercilessly grabs your hips, dragging your body down the table until your drenched heat is practically hanging off the surface. There’s a short pause and then you are wailing as Kuroo rams his entire cock into you in one swift motion. You feel so full, so stretched out, and the tiny tinge of pain lacing the forceful intrusion has you immediately cumming even before Kuroo begins to move. Kuroo stares at you, astonished, before he starts laughing. “Did you cum just from having my cock inside you? God, you’re such a fucking whore. I’m not letting you rest until I finish, so just hang in there, babe.” And all you can do is brokenly scream with tears and drool decorating your face as Kuroo savagely rearranges your insides.

At first, it’s too much and you’re weakly pawing at his arms, unsure how else to handle the overwhelming sensation of being abused so soon after an orgasm, but Kuroo ignores you and something inside of you refrains from explicitly telling him to stop, so you lie back and take what he gives you. But soon enough, you feel a familiar stirring in your loins and your sobs turn into wanton moans for more. Kuroo feels the way your body tenses and the way your tight snatch clenches against him. His grip on your hips tighten even more as he shoves himself even harder, deeper, and faster into you and it’s too much. You’re screaming as you peak again. Kuroo continues to harshly thrust in you as he chases his own end and you lay there, brain mushed with pleasure as he uses you as a glorified sex toy. Nearing his end, Kuroo abruptly pulls out of you and he stands over your broken body, furiously rubbing his shaft until he’s painting your stomach with milk white strings.

Exhausted, he leans over and places his hands on the table on either side of your head, hovering over you as he catches his breath. But any intent to rest vanishes in an instant as he watches you scoop his cum from your stomach and lewdly slurp down his essence between your pretty pink lips. You let out a surprised shriek as Kuroo throws you over his shoulder and carries you to his bedroom. “I hope you didn’t think we were done, kitten. I did say I’d make sure my little cockslut’s mouth is filled and it would be so ungentlemanly of me to not make good on my promise.” You exasperatedly smack Kuroo at those words, but a smile tugs its way onto your face as he tosses you onto his bed. You suppose you can put up with his terrible chemistry puns, you think to yourself, before you brace yourself for whatever else he has in store for you.


End file.
